Using the free use laws to take all the women protesting against the free use laws

Warning: Dubious consent themes. Do not read if offended by hardcore erotica.

‘Fuck free use!’

‘My body, my choice!’

‘Keep your pussy grabbing male privilege hands to yourself!’

So said all the signs in the crowd that had gathered outside congress.

If I was honest I couldn’t blame them. I mean, if I was a woman I wouldn’t be too keen on all men being allowed to put their hands-and their dicks-wherever they liked everywhere I went. But I was a man, so fuck it, the free use laws favoured me.

It was just yesterday that Congress had passed the laws, coincidentally by the exact same margin as there were men to women in Congress. What were the odds of that happening?

I was the congressman for Alabama, and as an elected representative I decided that it was my duty to go out and confront these protestors face to face.

They were a bunch of snarling women spitting venom, and I saw that many had dyed hair and tattoos. I briefly wondered if this country had reached the tipping point where there were more women with green hair and branded skin than there were those who could cook.

“Fuck the patriarchy! Fuck free use!”

One in particular caught my eye. Her hair was dyed as red as her lips-lips that were just made for sucking cock.

“Hey there”, I said as she waved her sign. I found it interesting that she was protesting against the free use laws but had taken the time to put on lipstick today. It was almost as if she wanted to get her lips around some meat. “Let me introduce…”

“I know who you are you white male republican piece of shit!”

“Woah! You do have a mouth on you!”

“Fuck you man!”

“Man, I think I just felt my dick move.”

“Hey, you’re a congressman, you can’t talk to me like that!”

“That’s where you’re wrong darling. You may not like the free use laws, but the fact is they are the laws of this land now. So I can talk to you how I like, and I can also ask you to wrap your lips around my white male republican dick.” I called on the officers around me to seize her and enforce the law.

I whipped out my dick, which had been pressing hard against my pants. My wife had not sucked me in a while, which was one reason I was so happy the free use laws had passed.