Taken Rough By The Mountain Men

To get away from it all on my college break, I had decided to go for a hike in the mountains to take in the fresh air, the beautiful scenery, the wildlife, and just generally reconnect with nature.

When I had set off from the small town at the base of the mountains, some of the locals gave me a warning about the trip I was about to embark on.

“Watch out for the mountain men, they lurk in them there hills. They’ve been known to, shall we say, ‘do bad things’ to girls like you.”

The local spook story no doubt, that they enjoyed scaring people with. I just nodded my head, thanked them for the warning, and went on my way.

So there I was, making my way up a steep trail with woodland on either side. I was breathing heavy, and it was tough on my legs, but this truly was the great outdoors, the scenery was gorgeous. I thought I could hear the sound of wood being chopped somewhere off in the woods. Whether or not that was the mountain men than the townsfolk spoke of, there definitely seemed to be at least one person living out here.

I came to an abrupt halt.

A huge, topless, barrel chested and dark bearded man had just came out of the woods, a large axe in his hands.

“Hello there”, I said. I was a little taken aback by his sudden appearance.

He said nothing, but just stood there looking me up and down.

“Do you live around here?” I asked. Clearly he did, it was just the only thing I could think to ask.

Again he did not reply. He let the axe drop, then began to stride toward me, and if I was not mistaken, his eyes seemed to be fixated on my chest. I started to feel really uncomfortable and began to back off.

Then came another voice from the other side of the woods.

“This is my territory.”

Another topless beefcake appeared, this one with a thick red beard. Perhaps he had just been chopping wood as well, because his powerful looking body was dripping sweat.

“I saw her first Caleb”, the man with the dark beard replied. “You know the rules, he who sees it first claims it. She belongs to me.”

“But you also know the rules about territory Todd. I suggest a compromise, we both take her.”

The dark bearded man, whose name was Todd apparently, looked at me thoughtfully for a few seconds.

“Ok then, a compromise it is.”

“Hold on”, I said as they both marched toward me. “What do you mean just take me? I am nobody’s property, I am my own person, I…”

“That’s where you’re wrong”, the red bearded man called Caleb said. “You see, this here is the mountains. We live off the land, we don’t play by society’s rules. If you decide to come up to the mountains and leave the world behind then you play by our rules, and our rules say you belong to us and we do whatever we like with you.”

Caleb then seized hold me with his massive arms, effortlessly flung me over his shoulder, and carried me off into the woods.

“Hey”, I said, beating at his back, “you can’t just pick me up like this, put me down!”