‘Joe the Plumber’, he advertised himself as. He seemed as good as any of the other options, and we had a kitchen sink to unblock. I had given him a call and he had arrived in good time. Strangely, he had four other plumbers with him.
“Today is training day”, said Joe, “I got four apprentices, you don’t mind if they come in and I show them the ropes do you?”
“Of course not”, I said.
Joe then got to unblocking the sink, as the others watched and helped out. My husband Tim had been sitting watching tv all this time.
“Honey”, I said to him when Joe was finished, “do you have your card to pay the plumber?”
“Oh sure”, he said.
He handed his card to Joe, and Joe tapped it on his card reader.
“Hmm, it says ‘unaccepted’ sir. Seems you have no money in the bank.”
“No money in the bank!” I said. Then I looked to Tim. “What the hell?”
“I…I’m sorry honey, I didn’t know how to tell you we were bankrupt.”
I didn’t know what to say, I was so embarrassed. This was the first time in my life that I had ever been in a situation like this.
Fucking Tim. All he had been doing recently was sitting about the house, and he hadn’t even fucked me in weeks. He truly was the height of uselessness.
In that moment, something came over me. I looked at Joe and his apprentices, and I saw working men with firm bodies, men who were not my husband. We had no money, but they needed to get paid. I could offer them all something other than money.
To the astonishment of everyone in the room, I started unbuttoning my blouse. Jaws dropped to the floor-along with my clothes.
At forty years old, I had a body that women twenty years younger would have killed for. I was built to fuck, it was just that Tim had not been taking much advantage of it lately.
“What’s going on dear?” Tim asked.
“What’s going on? I will tell you what is going on Tim. You don’t fuck me anymore, and when you did your small dick barely touched my sides. I am so sick of you and your tiny dick, I’ve had enough. So stand and watch Tim. Stand and watch your wife get fucked by the plumbers.”
I turned toward Joe and his apprentices, hands on hips and my chest sticking out. All their tongues were hanging out of their mouths, and bulges were appearing in those crotches.
“How’s this for payment boys? Which one of you wants to fuck me hard up my dirty cunt and nasty asshole?”
Joe and his apprentices broke out of their stupor, and roared their approval.
“Hell yeah we’ll take that as payment!” Said Joe. “Let’s give this slut what she needs boys!”
I screamed with delight as they pounced upon me, hard hands grabbing my body and pulling me to the ground, vicious snarls emanating from each man as they roughly positioned me on my hands and knees.
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